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Jameson's Book of Stuff














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You don't know stuff until you've read JAMESON'S BOOK OF STUFF

Explanation #1
Using Bottle Machines

 

            First, you need the right amount of money, preferably change (as in coins.)  Second, find a bottle dispenser.  If you have change, the following steps are for you.  Third, insert the correct amount of money in the slot that says "Insert Coins Here" (most slots are vertical, so coins must be facing up and down.)  If you change your mind on buying a drink (before you have actually bought one), than press the button that says, "Coin return" most of these buttons push in.  But otherwise, the next steps apply.  Fourth, select a button with the picture of the desired liquid of which you wish to drink on the machine.  Fifth, push the button in.  You should hear a sound very similar to a ker-plunk.  Sixth, towards the bottom of must machines there is a slot that's about one foot long and six inches wide, that is where your desired drink should have appeared, look into it.  Seventh, reach in and grab the bottle (see Explanation #8, Grabbing and Holding Things.)

Now, if you have a dollar bill, the following steps apply.  Third, press the dollar bill to make sure it is relatively flat; make sure that the corners aren't folded down or up.  When inserting the dollar bill into the machine, you must have the face facing up.  If you do not do this, the machine will reject your dollar (usually there's a picture above the slot, mimic the picture.)  Most machines have the dollar slot horizontal, so the dollar must also be horizontal.  Fourth, select the desired drink from the machine, and press that button.  If at anytime (before you press a bottom with a drink on it) to get a drink, you may press the coin return button to get your dollar back in coins.  Fifth, you should here a sound pretty close to a ker-plunk and (perhaps) than a tap-tip-ring, this is your drink, and if the drink costs less than a dollar, than change coming back to you.  Sixth, get your change (if any) out of the "coin return" slot (make sure you grab everything in the slot) and then bend down to the larger slot and look inside, there should be your drink inside, reach in a grab it.  (Note: Always check the coin return slot before and after you approach the machine, if anything of interest is inside, than take it.)

 

So here, good luck with that.

See you somewhere.

Some Guy that you Don't Know       































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